apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
