I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
