It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
