Define "chronic" masturbator.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
