Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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