i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
