You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
