On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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