She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
