he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Randomize
