A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
