Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just forgot I was standing up.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
