a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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