What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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