i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Randomize
