ya dads aren't the best wingmen
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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