Jerry, you need to find god
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
