In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
