God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
