so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
