I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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