I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
