She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
