Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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