IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
