Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
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