you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
