That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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