We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
