just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey