Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
