Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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