I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
