As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
