they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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