I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
