She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He better not be in your backpack
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
