All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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