i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
