ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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