Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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