Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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