ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
