all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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