ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize