so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
