I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
The adults are the big ones right?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
