Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
