yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
