the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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