He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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