Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
