Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
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So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
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I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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