They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
