Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You can't motorboat a personality
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
