Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
