found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize