...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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