why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
