just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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