Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
you inspire me to be a worse person
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize