Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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