hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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