I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
